When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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