dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
