I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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