i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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