does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
My life is pants optional.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
