And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
