Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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