so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
