There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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