it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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