Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
