super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Randomize
