do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
