we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
There's always time for handjobs
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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