I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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