If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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