Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
