Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
