Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
