let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
