Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Dicks are not precious.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
