Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
