I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
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