Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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