Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
