I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
