my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
He did a backflip because drugs
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