To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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