she looked like the bat from fern gully.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Randomize
