I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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