she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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