He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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