she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
