I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
