The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
