dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Mom said you looked used
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
