fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
