Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
