Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
