I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
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