All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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