wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
