I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
