I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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