Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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