I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
