Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
