Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
