i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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