I want to stick my p in your. b.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
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