Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I am midnight drunk by noon
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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